Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

I was approximately six weeks pregnant in September of 2022.

So early that the signs weren’t yet visible on my body. So early that I hadn’t told people about the baby yet. So early I hadn’t even had a doctor’s appointment yet, just a missed period and a pregnancy test that marked positive so fast it left no doubt. 

I was super tired in the afternoons and early evenings and snackish. I even had my first pregnancy craving (Reese's peanut buttercups). I was starting to get excited.

One afternoon, there was a little reddish-brown streak on the toilet paper. I had heard about implantation bleeding, so, while I was alarmed, I wasn’t worried. This happened a few more times throughout the day. The next day, everything was good. The day after that, however, nothing was okay.

I woke up at 5:00 AM and I knew there was blood. Not just a little streak, but too much blood. I woke up my husband and we headed to the ER where the miscarriage was confirmed.

My story—our story—is not unique. October commemorates Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Though as anyone who has suffered a loss never stops thinking about our little ones who could not stay, October 15th is a day to pause and reflect. 

It is also a time to share information about miscarriage and infant loss. A conservative estimate says ⅕ pregnancies will end in miscarriage, particularly within the first trimester. Though it is incredibly common, it is rarely talked about. Is it taboo because we don’t want to trauma dump on others? Is it because those who have not experienced it may see the loss of a pregnancy as being not such a big deal? Whatever the reason, pregnancy and infant loss is traumatic. To anyone who has experienced it, your feelings are valid. You are seen here. 

If you have suffered a loss, reach out. Talk to a counselor, pastor, doctor, whomever.

No one should have to suffer in silence.

Thanks for reading!

💜

Laura