Dad’s List: 10 Things That Helped Me the Most for a New Baby at Home
After our daughter was born, I asked my husband what he feels helped to make the first few weeks after Baby Girl (B.G.) was born easier.
Though this is from his perspective, it is really for anyone who is in a relationship with, or is supporting, a person who just gave birth.
Have more sheets than you think you need. B.G. was constantly going through sheets, between spitting up and peeing through her diapers, we were constantly washing her sheets. Sheets actually ended up being on an early Target run because we ran out one day! Also, if baby spends any time on your bed (she often laid next to me while I pumped milk or folded laundry), make sure you have extra sheets ready for your own bed! ***B.G. only was on the bed when an awake adult was sitting next to her.***
Similarly, have more spit up cloths than you think you need. B.G. spit up a lot. We ended up getting her on Similac Sensitive Formula to help her with her tummy, but she still spit up a lot. (I was worried about it, but she isn’t bothered by it, so the amazing visiting nurse assured me that it’s just because she’s a baby with an immature esophagus and nothing to worry about.) Anyway, have cloths for anywhere the baby is eating or sleeping or laying down (not in the crib when she’s sleeping though, just nearby).
Meal prep. To prepare for the first few weeks after B.G. was born, we did a lot of meal prep. We had several frozen meals, ready to be heated up and eaten. Likewise, since he only got two weeks off from work, my husband made me some easy meals to heat up and eat for lunch. Some of our favorites were: lasagna, chef salad, burritos, and calzones. (Also, if someone you love is going to have a baby soon and you live close by, I think delivering some meals to them is one of the most caring gifts you can offer.)
Utilize grocery delivery. Just like with meal prepping, grocery delivery just saves time, and although you might have to pay a delivery fee and definitely need to tip the person shopping and delivering, time and energy are in short supply when you have a new baby. We didn’t use it all of the time, but often enough. Gifting someone a grocery delivery is also amazing if you live too far away to bring food yourself!
Don’t take it personally if the baby isn’t that attached to you in the beginning. The mama has the milk! Also, she smells and feels so familiar from the days in the womb. Keep holding the baby, talking to her, changing her diaper, and if you’re bottle-feeding at all, give her a bottle. The relationship will build and it won’t be long before she recognizes you as Dad, the other most important relationship in her life.
Automate chores if you can. Again, time and energy are in short supply, so don’t spend time on chores if you don’t have to! Prior to B.G. making her arrival, we got a Roomba and a cat litter maid. You still have some upkeep with both but not as much as doing it all by hand.
You are your partner’s emotional support. Hormones are wild. The first few weeks especially, I cried a few times every hour I was awake. Reassure your partner that she is a good mom! Make sure she has proper nutrition and plenty of water. And give her breaks without being asked. Also, talk to her health provider about signs of postpartum depression. You might recognize the symptoms before she does and can get her the help she needs.
Sleep when you can. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Sleep in shifts with your partner (put in earplugs or go into a separate room if you need and encourage your partner to do the same). This works especially well if you are bottle-feeding, either with formula or expressed milk.
If you don’t know how to do something, Youtube it! There were so many things we weren’t sure how to set up, fix, or do, baby-related. Chances are, someone has made a Youtube video demonstrating this.
Make friends with other dads. Learn from their experience and enjoy the camaraderie!
The first few weeks (even months) are a blur.
It is a stressful time with a huge learning curve, but, what an honor—to be someone’s dad.
Thanks for reading!
💜
Laura
